she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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