Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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