yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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