we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
