i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
