bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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