Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
