Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
