called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
