I heard we made out
I bet he comes in French.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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