Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
