you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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