Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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