Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
