Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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