Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
