I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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