No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
