ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
