Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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