After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sorry my hands just texted you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
