she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
