it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
