pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
