Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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