I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have already put on my inside pants.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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