you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
