Welp...herpes.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
