I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
