We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
