well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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