He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
