problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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