Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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