I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
