So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
