well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
