if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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