k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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