You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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