You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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