its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
