Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
