No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize