she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
