Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Drake has all the answers
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
