Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
