I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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