Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
