And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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