If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
