Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
