a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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