yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
