Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
